Being Yourself

For Jerry, taking his stand has taken things away from him, like close friends and the chance at being 'one of the guys' at Trinity. His way of doing things and not selling the chocolates has made him an outcast among the student body, a sore spot with the faculty - in particular Brother Leon, and thorn in the side of the Vigils. However, Jerry has gained from these things as well. As much as his rebellion has caused him some pain, it has also opened up a whole new world for him. It's as if he is tasting the air for the first time.

The change in Jerry is obvious. After his meeting with the Vigils, where Archie "asks" him to sell the chocolates rather than tell him to or threaten him to, he realizes that he has some power. Just the fact that he has Archie off balance is enough to make him feel worthy.The next thing he does makes it clear to him that he is gaining strength in his battle to become an individual. It may seem minor, but the phone call that Jerry makes to the Ellen Barrett, the girl at the bus stop that had called him a square boy and forced him to think about the direction his life was going in, is a huge step in helping him get over the hump of just being another follower. The phone call, even though it goes horribly wrong and he hangs up after she mistakes him for someone else and then calls him a "pervert", actually wakes Jerry up. The call was bad, but it proved to Jerry that he can do the things he wants to do. After the call, he instantly feels hungry. His appetite returns after he had been having a tough time even trying to eat.

By the end of his feast of ice cream, he has come to an important moment in his life. It is at this point that Jerry openly declares to himself, in his own voice so that he can hear it with his own ears, "My name is Jerry Renault and I'm not going to sell the chocolates."